in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
