you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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