$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
