Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Randomize
