Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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