If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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