I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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