How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize