in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
