Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize