Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
