i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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