Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
