I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize