I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
