Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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