Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
