What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
wow bdsm is so cute
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