youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize