I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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