oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
