No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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