we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
