Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize