Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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