I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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