Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
