if you like me you must not know who I am
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
dude. I can hear the air.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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