her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
