I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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