Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
