Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
