after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
im calling her cock vulture from now on
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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