First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
