People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
