would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
