So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
