It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
