come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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