His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
