its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
