also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
