her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
