did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
