I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Randomize
