there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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