Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
You can't just leave with hair like that
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
