Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
