if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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