your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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