does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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