I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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