Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
She's JV to your varsity
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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