You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
