omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
