someone owes me an orgasm
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
