You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
