My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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