I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize