Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
So gin and wine won't be happening again
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
