I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
