You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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