scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
