I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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