I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
he had hair everywhere except his balls
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize