Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
