He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize
