those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
