we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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