For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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