so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
