after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
