We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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