Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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