she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
